38 weeks

Tony and I have developed a new nightly routine.  Before we go to bed we each check our phones, the volume, are they working, etc before we go to sleep.  If either of us gets up in the middle of the night we check them again.  Every so often one or both of us is asking Megan to call us, just to make sure they are STILL working.  She has got to be sick of the “drills” by now.  I vacillate between being calm and patient, and ascting like a crazy person pacing the floors LOL! 

We had our 3^rd, yes I said 3^rd baby shower yesterday.  I cannot believe how lucky this baby is, she has a whole village just waiting for her to be born.  My mom and dad through this one, and we had an amazing time.  Here are some pics.  I hope everyone ishaving a great day.  MAYBE the next post will be announcing Zoey’s arrival!  Fingers crossed!

17 days to go!

Dear Zoey,

37 weeks and 4 days!  You could be coming any time now.  I have to admit it’s a lot like being 6 years old and waiting for Christmas… if you never knew what day Santa might be coming, as if one day you could just wake up and Santa had been there. 

The anticipation of your arrival is palpable.  Every time either I or your papa turns around someone is asking us how much longer.  I love the question.  I love that you are entering into a world where so many people are excited about you and your existence.  My hope is that you feel that love even now. 

I have all of your first few sizes of outfits washed, organized, and ready for you.  When I see them folded on YOUR shelves waiting for you I get choked up with the reality that you are coming.  Papa is so funny; he’s so concerned with whether or not he will be able to be gentle enough when dressing you.  The other day I caught him “practicing” by putting one of your outfits on a stuffed Tigger.  I wish I had thought to take a picture. 

I am surprised that even though I cannot wait to have you in my arms, I am also really enjoying the anticipation.  It’s weird for me because I am not a very patient person. 

We are all waiting for you princess.  I will see you soon and my heart will be complete.  I love you with all I am.

Love,

Daddy.

Story of an angel in a parachute...

Papa Here!!

The feeling in my life, for lack of a better explanation, is the feeling after you’ve pushed yourself out of a perfectly good plane, and are falling out of the sky toward Earth.   As far as Mike is concerned, it is too late to obtain a tranquilizer dart gun, but we’re doing okay.  

I’m confident that my parachute is in perfectly working order, but it does not rob me of the exhilaration.

I have lost my ability to track the days of the week, and we literally have something to get done every day of the week at this point.   I work a 24-hour job where I can rest in the late, late, evening, but have not been able to forget that the phone can now suddenly ring at any time.   My normal level of vigilance is two-fold.

I really really want Zoey here, and being a perfectionist, I realize that no matter how hard I work, we’ll never be “perfectly” ready.    I think this is actually a healthy place, as I believe you could literally go insane trying to get more done.   I think, if one is not careful, it is possible to lose sight of why we did this.    I “airlocked” yesterday when I heard there’s potential for snow in our forecast next weekend, as snow shuts down everything in Seattle/Tacoma, but realized again that it’s simply out of my control.

When we were at our last Midwife checkup, Megan placed my hand on her belly.     Immediately Zoey kicked into my hand.   It’s hard to convey the energy of that transfer, but it revitalizes you.   After seeing the clothes that we received from the Baby Showers washed, folded, and placed in Zoey’s room (Mike has worked SO hard on this), they stopped being gifts, and transformed into OUR baby girl’s clothes.    I’ve lost track of all of the transition moments like that, but they are amazing.

This episode has a perfect, immediate, and complete climax on how it finishes.   It’s Zoey coming into the world, and I have the opportunity to be there, front row seat.     Because we’re having a true water birth, if all goes well, I will watch our daughter swim into our lives.

Our house in Seattle has always been a textbook definition of a residential structure; a typical two-story Type III construction wood frame construction.    With a lot of work, our own personal journeys, we have decided to make it a HOME.    It will be a place of birthdays, parties, friends, family, and of recovery.    Covered in drywall dust, insulation, and little flecks of everything, I’ve looked from the center of every room and heard the voices of what is to come.

I’m excited to give this gift back to Zoey, and I’m excited in equal measure for the prospect of having a family.

35 weeks 4 days...

Dear Zoey,

35 almost 36 weeks!  We are down to the final days before we have you in our arms.  Your clothes are washed, your car seat and co-sleeper are waiting for you, and the bags are all packed and waiting. 

As I was folding your laundry and packing your bag the other day I couldn’t quite believe that we were here already; that we were getting your clothes ready because you would be here soon. 

About your outfits… your Papa and I had the best of intentions as far as the color scheme.  We wanted you to be exposed to more than just pink and purple, however, your suitcase looks like someone threw up Pepto Bismol all over it.

Just know this, no matter what we dress you in now, we are going to love you WHOEVER you turn out to be, whether it is the girly girl that is all pigtails and polish, or the tom boy that refuses to wear dresses and is covered in mud.  Whatever you want to be… we will be thrilled!  Just forgive us for all of the pictures with you dressed in the frilliest of the frilly. 

35 week 4 days

Last week we saw you in 3D.  I knew you would be beautiful, but you are so beyond that.  You have the cutest cheeks and I cannot wait to cover them in kisses. 

I love you baby.

Love,

Daddy



The GREAT PUMPKIN!

I love the fall!  I love everything about it, the way the leaves change and fall, the crisp air, the beginning of the holidays, and the pumpkin flavored…well… ANYTHING! 

The coolest thing about future autumns is that we will always be reminded of this time waiting for Zoey to come.  These are the last days Tony and I will be just two!  I can’t believe it!!!!!!!!!!!

Poor Megan, Tony and I have both subjected her to our “drills” to make sure that even if our phone is on silent HER phone number rings through.  She has been VERY patient with us.  Megan and I text several times a day, but rarely do we chat on the phone.  So the other day when her ringtone came wailing out of my phone and it wasn’t a drill I almost peed myself!

Update from yesterday

I just wanted to leave a little update, yesterday I wanted to get the pictures posted in a hurry.  I sort of feel like I didn’t do the whole experience justice.

First of all, I am fairly lucky in the fact that Megan and I share an office and see each other every day, baby Zoey hears my voice all the time, and I get to feel her movements every day.  Tony doesn’t get that time, so he spent a lot of time and energy into recording us talking to Zoey and reading her stories.  Megan plays them through the belly buds every night.  That way Zoey will know both of our voices.  It also seems like every time Tony is around, and Zoey is moving and kicking, she calms down as soon as he tries to feel (secretly I am hoping that this will always be the case and this is all it will take to calm her).  Yesterday, besides hearing that she is healthy and well nourished, seeing the 3D pictures was amazing.  The fact that she was SUPER active and Tony got to feel her acrobatics was the icing on the cake.

I love watching his face when we talk about her, or when he knows she is safe and loved.  You would have to know my big strong “bear” of a husband to fully understand the impact of seeing tears of joy run down his face.

Those cheeks… I can’t wait to kiss those cheeks.  I expected her to be cute, I guess I was really unprepared for her to be absolutely breath taking.  We made that.  The three of us (and a team of Doctors, nurses, and lab technicians) made that happen.  WOW….

3-D ultrasound!!!

So we went to have the 34 week ultrasound done… complete with 3-D and 4-D.  We are SO incredibly grateful to report that Zoey is perfect!  She is healthy.  Megan is healthy.  Life could not be any better!  She is beautiful.  We knew she would be, but seeing how clear her face is on the picture was MIND BLOWING, Tony and I both cried.  I could never have anticipated how in love I am with this child.  I am so grateful. 

Zoey is ALREADY 6 lbs... SIX POUNDS with SIX weeks to go!!!  HOLY MOLY!

Here are some pics, they are not scanned, they are a pic of a pic, so I apologize, but I couldn’t wait to share them with you!

She is so incredibly beautiful

LOOK AT THOSE CHEEKS!!!

DADDY BOOT CAMP

We are getting DOWN TO THE WIRE!  Tony and I took a baby boot camp type class this week, it was very cool and we learned a lot!  Of course we were the only gay couple in the class, luckily we live in a pretty progressive part of the country, although I did feel like some of the women were looking at us and thinking “Wait… they don’t look or speak ANYTHING like Mitchell or Cam”.  Tony and I both deviate from what I think most people think of when they think of gay men, being is that we are both SOOO butch.  Okay, okay I am slightly less butch than Tony, I’m more “soft butch”.  OKAY fine!  I only LOOK butch, regardless as we were leaving the class I could tell that some of our classmates were feeling slighted or robbed that we didn’t say anything particularly witty, or at the very least catty (well out loud anyway, secretly we judged everyone in the room).  I feel like I have some good experience with babies, and I am constantly reading the safe baby websites, however I STRONGLY recommend this class to anyone who is about to be a parent for the first time.

Tony and I went baby clothes shopping too… Look I love him, but shopping is just not his strong suit.  He BARELY buys himself new clothes (as is evident by the PILES of clothes I had destroyed that were from 1982).  Until recently I have noticed that he has like 6 T shirts and 2 sweat shirts he REALLY likes and rotates wearing them, I tried hiding them under stacks of BRAND new shirts in his drawer.  He DUG them out.  So shopping for little girl outfits was definitely challenging for him.  While I am breezing through the aisles throwing anything cute into the cart, he is evaluating each and every item of clothing and wanting to know what exactly it will look like on our princess, and how he will be able to get to the diaper, what it is made of, what item will go with what item, etc.  AT FIRST I was getting annoyed with him and then it HIT ME… this big tough former marine/firefighter guy was standing in a BABY CLOTHING store trying to process something that would be akin to me being trapped in an auto parts store or being forced to difuse a bomb.  He stepped WAY OUTSIDE of his comfort zone and SHOWED UP.  That is ONE of my favorite things about my husband.  He always shows up, even when it’s hard or difficult.  What a gift that will be for our daughter.  He will always show up for her.  Oh and I am proud to point out that since I brought his lack of clothing diversity to his attention, he has RARELY worn the same outfit twice in one week!  

Zoey is on her way.  I simultaneously CAN’T WAIT and feel unprepared.  However, what I know is she has plenty of clothing, shelter, and TWO papa bears to love and protect her.  We have each other, so I guess maybe we ARE ready after all.

33 weeks 4 days

33 weeks 3 days

Hi Zoey, Papa again.

You're hearing our voices alot more now, Mommy Megan is wearing the BellyBuds and sending bedtime stories and Vivaldi to you.    We worked hard on that, 'cause we wanted you to feel safe and used to our voices before you arrived.

Daddy insisted we get more clothes for your first growing months.   Suffice it to say, you're going to be styling those first few months.    We'll probably lose a few to spit-up and poopy, but there's ALOT of backup clothes.    We should've tipped that forklift operator....

Daddy and I went to a newborn care class the other night to hone our skills a bit on taking care of you those first few weeks.    The doll baby was very compliant as I diapered and re-diapered it.   I just KNOW you'll be that helpful, and won't wiggle at all.    We got to see what to expect with your diaper changes.     Having peered into a box of newborn and first months diapers, I think we'll save time by using a "diaper gun".    There's guns for drywalling in construction, shirt guns for passing out shirts to attendees at stadiums, why not a diaper gun?    It LOOKS like a weapons magazine when you open a box of diapers, hundreds and hundreds of diapers all in a row.    Otherwise Daddy will get tired changing all of them.    Six a day....Sheesh!!

Your next ultrasound is coming up, and we'll get to see how you're doing, and even a little of what you look like right now.   It's been many many weeks since we last got to see you, but we know you've been swimming around pretty good all along.   Mommy Megan can attest to it.  

There's so many details before you arrive.    I myself have to stop, breathe, and focus that this is all about you.    I looked at Daddy during the newborn class, for a while actually, and saw how READY he is for you.      I could see in his eyes he was dreaming about you, already taking care of you, and planning your days.

I spoke with a friend that you were our little girl.    His comment was between his boys (sons) and his daughter, his daughter had him wrapped around her heart.    He always is ready to "jump in" when she neeeds something.     Being a Former Marine my chest puffs out and stiffens as I tell myself no baby will run me down like that.     My heart says different.      It says "That's our little girl......".

Love,

Papa

32 weeks 5 days!!!

Dear Zoey-

32 weeks 5 days!  Your Papa and I are in a whirlwind of activity trying to make sure that everything is ready for your arrival.  Papa has been working so hard with the crew to make sure that the house is ready and safe.  He loves us both so much and wants us to always be safe and happy.  I cannot wait to see you and him together.  You are already his entire world.  We have decided to keep the apartment for the first month or so after you are born, just to make sure that everything at the house is done. 

I am so excited I sometimes don’t think I am going to survive the next few weeks!  You have been my dream for so long and we are just a few weeks from meeting each other.  Everyday my heart expands more than I thought possible.  I vacillate between intense excitement and overwhelming panic.  I want to be the best daddy I can be for you.  You, my princess, are a blessing and deserve to have the best parents.  I promise you that I am going to be the very best daddy I can be.  I will absolutely make mistakes.  I am going to make you mad, embarrass you, and frustrate you to no end.  And I am going to love you, protect you, comfort you, and be present for you.  Every day.

Megan says that you are super active and are definitely making sure she knows you are in there.  Wait till you meet her!  She has kept you safe and taken such amazing care of you.  She will never know how grateful your Papa and I are to her for making you a possibility for us.  We definitely could not have picked a better person to be your mama.  Thats YOU in there!!!

Thats YOU in there!!!
Megan just pointed out the poster in the background.  How fitting, I love our office!

We went to see the midwife yesterday and everything is going well.  Now we will see her every two weeks instead of monthly.  Your heartbeat is music to my ears, so strong, so alive. 

I love you Zoey.  Keep growing, I will see you soon.

All my love,

Daddy

Miracles can be yucky too

Megan, Tony, and I had our ALL day birth class this weekend.  The class itself was awesome and really helped all of us to feel better prepared to develop our birth plan.  I will say that I do not recommend doing it all in one day if you can help it.  It is A LOT of information and A LOT of emotions.  Tony and I rolled out of bed and BARELY showered, Megan apparently went to the beauty salon beforehand.  LOL.

EARLY morning class

Megan looks beautiful!  Don't judge me, it was EARLY

Look at those hotties!

Our plan is to have Zoey at a freestanding birth center instead of in a hospital. Megan had her daughter at the Birthing Inn and LOVED it.  Tony and I were a little skeptical, but wanted to respect Megan’s wishes.  That was until we walked into the place.  It is absolutely gorgeous and the energy is just calm and peaceful.  The deal was cinched when we met our midwife Amy.  She is exactly the person you want to be caring for the mother of your child and your unborn baby.  She is amazing.  She was respectful of our unique situation and exudes compassion, warmth, and empathy. 

Kelly is a self proclaimed “semi retired Doula”, she is the one who taught our class on Saturday.  She is also full of warmth and somehow managed to keep our attention for an entire 8 hour day.  The time seemed to fly by.  The information we received was amazing and helpful.  And Kelly’s high energy and enthusiasm were awesome. 

Having said all of that I have a confession to make.  The miracle of life appears to be… gross.  I can’t wait to witness it, and be a part of it, but I have never been so grateful to be born male in all my life.  I will also admit that I have an even greater respect for women.  It is magical what their bodies can do, and what they as people can withstand.  I continue to look at Megan with awe; for her to know what she was getting into and choosing to do this for us… wow.  I hope that I am worthy of the gift she is giving us one day. 

Love, Papa

Dear Zoey,

There are SO many things happening right now preparing for your arrival.    Papa has help getting the house nursery and rooms ready.  Daddy is packing away his spring ensemble.    Mommy Megan is helping you grow and get stronger every day.   But mostly we dream about you.     We've recorded bedtime stories for you so you can hear them even before you're born.   Daddy read one called "And Tango Makes Three".     It's your story......

We had your 1st baby shower.    So many friends came, so many people excited and happy for your arrival.    The party was SO beautiful, and Daddy completely ran down the battery of the camera taking pictures of it, he was so excited.
That night when we unpacked all your gifts, we imagine how you would look in each outfit, how each gift would become part of your life.

Planning and more planning.    Papa's time off work, Daddy's time off, the apartment time, our time after you're born together.     All I want for you is a full belly and a healthy happy smile.

Daddy has been shopping at the Carter's baby store so much that the clerks hug him when he comes in.   He does have an eye for how to dress us both.    Papa knows Daddy is thinking of everything for your care.

We fuss and worry about this and that, wring our hands sometimes, but we know it's all worth it.    How I can't wait to see your first smile.

Love,
Papa

31 weeks, 4 days… that’s you in there!!

Zoey's FIRST baby shower

Yesterday was the first shower for Zoey!!  Her guncles and Godfathers threw it for her and it was really incredible.  I am so grateful that our daughter is surrounded by SOOO much love.  She isn’t even born yet and she is a spoiled little girl.  I looked around and saw all these people just waiting to welcome her into the world… it was overwhelming and humbling. 

We also decided to do a little “binding ceremony” during the shower.  The state we live in doesn’t recognize gay marriage yet, but we do have Domestic Partnerships.  It may not be equal, but I’ll take it.  We completed the paper work awhile ago, and have felt married in our hearts, but it was really important to Tony that we do some sort of ceremony before Zoey is born.  Originally the plan was to have a big ceremony after Zoey was born, and to do this for now.  Tradition and symbolism are very important to both of us, but especially to Tony.  I was very excited to be doing this because it meant so much to Tony; I didn’t realize until we started how important it was to me as well.  It was very casual, but filled with love and support.  As I looked into my husband’s eyes, so full of love and emotion, and felt the love and support surrounding us I realized we don’t need another ceremony.  This is perfect.  And afterwards it felt sealed.  I am so glad we did this exactly this way.  Megan was the one who actually "officiated", which just made it even more perfect.

 Literally tied the knot

 Awwww

I swear I was not singing to him

 

AND the best part is I am throwing out all of Tony’s T-shirts!  It was in our vows, and I take them very very serious.  So yep, any Tshirt that says “Rugby BLAH BLAH 1996” or “Firefighter Stairclimb 1981” all gone! 

What an amazing weekend this was.  My cup runeth over. 



Papa's Extreme Shower Experience.

Papa  (Tony) here.

We had the 1st baby shower yesterday.

In true Mississippi form, we combined our Marriage vows with our Baby Shower.

Yeah, we got married.   The big tying of the knot.  Game over.   Check and mate.

Yep… that’s our amazing surrogate officiating

We have Registered Domestic Partnership here in Washington State, but it's called "Everything But Marriage".  Or as I refer to it, "Marriage Light".    It gives us a TON of legal protections for each other, and for the baby.    But mostly, I just love Mike, and wanted to make it real and legit.

I am so in love with this man…

The ceremony went off in perfect weather, with a perfect altar that our friends set up.     The garden was incredible.   The music even worked out.    We performed a "handfasting" ritual, using all the colors of long ribbons, each signifying a quality in our bond.   It turned out beautiful, the knot held, so I did not escape.    With our friends looking on, we declared our love for each other.   Mike even shared his true feelings about some of my favorite clothes (my COOL t-shirts), which he doesn't like.  I am, for all intensive purposes, a MARRIED man.

Mike and I and my mother in law

Mike and I with my father in law

Then we did the Baby Shower.    I have never BEEN to one before, and was unprepared.    I needed practice on what to say as each gift was open, as I ran out of things to say after "AWWWWW", and "Super Cute!!!", and "she'll love this".    After the 12th gift, I felt like a goof.     The gifts were amazing, thoughtful, and adorable, I just didn't make the cut on my what I was supposed to say.

But it was alot of fun.   And I got to hang out with people who were excited that Zoey was coming.

See the confusion on my face?   And Zoey’s BIG SISTER helping!

I can't speak for Mike on this one, but I am in awe of our friends in preparing for this Baby Shower and our Ceremony.    I didn't know what treasure we really held till yesterday.   Maybe that's the point of these showers after all, that you won't be going it alone....

3/4 of the way there!!!

Holy crap!  Can you believe that we are 3/4 of the way done?!?  In a lot of ways I feel like we just found out Megan was pregnant!  We are at 31 weeks and 4 days today.  Megan is a real trooper, but I would imagine things are getting a little crowded in there.  However, she looks great and keeps a smile on her face, even though she would be well within her rights to take it all out on Tony. 

I gotta tell ya, I definitely have the better end of the deal.  I get to feel Zoey kick every day.  I wish Tony could experience it as often as I do.  He makes the cutest faces whenever he experiences something like that.  No matter what is going on in my life, when I feel those little movements I can’t help but smile.  Our whole world is in there.  She is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am humbled by the emotions her kicks stir in me.

I was thinking this morning about how things have changed since I first chose my children’s names in high school… what?  Don’t all men do that?  In High School I wanted to name my girl Britney Nicole and my boy Vincent Neil (yes, I am ashamed to say that I was madly and deeply in love with the lead singer of Motley Crue).  Then I went through this James Dean phase and wanted to name my boy James Dean and my daughter Dylan Marie (to match my niece’s name Devyn Marie).  It occurred to me how weird it is that even though her name is not going to be what I thought it was all those years ago, the dream of her has always been there.  Soon Tony and I will be welcoming our daughter into this world.  Wow….



30 week 4 days

Birthday Parties!

I LOVE kid’s Birthday parties!  The noise, the chaos, the people, it’s all very exciting!  Megan’s daughter turned 5, and we were fortunate enough to be invited to her party.  I don’t know if I have mentioned it or not, but S is incredibly adorable, and luckily she and I seem to have moved past the unfortunate Barbie movie incident (PHEEEW!).  She was even cuter than normal on this day though and I was impressed with how polite she is for a 5 year old.  As she sat on her chair, surrounded by what can only be described as a SHIT TON of presents, she took her time opening each one and thanking each person after opening the gift.  SHE EVEN OPENED THE CARDS FIRST AND “OOOHED AND AHHHHED”.  I STILL rip open the card, look for any money or cash, and that throw that sucker aside so I can rip into the present. 

Speaking of presents, it’s always a little tricky with kid’s parties.  I am always worried that the kid will open our gifts and say “I have like 10 of these!!!”  Or “That’s for BABIES!”  or something.  Thankfully she enjoyed the presents.

This was also the first time we have met Megan’s extended family.  I have to admit I was a TOTAL wreck about this.  I mean here is there granddaughter, niece, cousin, etc. and she is pregnant… by two GAY men.  As it turned out I should have known I had nothing to worry about, after all these are the women that Megan comes from.  Everyone was full of smiles, and hugs, and “CONGRATULATIONS”.  It was beyond amazing.  The outpouring of support was incredible.  They all just welcomed us in and are excited to love this baby.  It was cool to see the line of women that Zoey is a part of.  To experience the love and strength that pours out of these women. 

It makes me feel good to know that Zoey is a part of them, and that they are a part of her.  She will be an unstoppable force. 

28 weeks 5 days (Dear Zoey)

My Dearest Zoey,

I felt you kick.  I felt your movements for the first time and I have no words for how amazing it felt.  I hear from parents all the time that there is no way you can be prepared for how much you can be prepared for the love you will feel for your child at birth.  I believe that, but I am still taken a back by how much I love you now.  Feeling you kick was the best moment of my life.  Papa was there and he felt it too, and I could tell that he was as impacted as I was.  Feeling you move inside Megan’s belly was like everything in that moment was right and good and perfect.  Our love, Your Papa's, Mama Megan's, and mine created you.  You are safe and healthy.  My life is perfect.

You moved.  Your little foot reached out and touched my hand, and in that moment all of this made sense.  I love you my daughter.  My little Zoey. 

Love,

Daddy

 28 weeks 4 days

28 weeks 5 days



Shopping with Grandma!

My mom is the cutest little nugget you have ever seen.  She really really wanted to buy Zoey’s coming home dress.  This was a huge deal for her.  I didn’t realize until the morning of that it was huge for me as well.  To be doing something so traditional, yet something that so many people take for granted, as shopping for your child’s homecoming dress with your mom… man, I tell you.  Here is the proud grandmother with the dress and hat we chose. 

Tony and I are definitely in trouble!  When I went to pick up my mom for our shopping adventure she pulled out the “odds and ends” she has picked up for Zoey.  Odds and ends?  So after the forklift dropped off the CRATE of stuff, I realized that Zoey has an entire wardrobe for both next spring and next summer.  Not to mention lamps and teddy bears and a BIG red dog named Clifford!  Man she isn’t even here yet and she has Grandma and Grandpa WRAPPED up!  The truth is I cannot wait to see them with her. 

In other news Megan’s birthday was YESTERDAY!  She is currently on a trip, so we didn’t get to see her and had to make sure she had her gift prior to leaving (okay, truth is I am HORRIBLE at waiting till the actual day to give presents).  Here is further proof of the AMAZING person our surrogate is, as if “surrogate” didn’t already say it enough.  I was teasing her a few weeks ago about buying an acre of rain forest on her name.  And she says to me that she has always thought it would be cool if someone bought a goat for a family in Africa, so they can have milk, and start a herd and take care of their family.  At this point she has to know that she could basically have asked us for anything and we would find a way to get it for her.  So we bought a goat for a family in her name.  And you would have thought we had bought her a Prada purse!  THAT’S who she is and a quality that I pray Zoey inherits.

We’re at 28 weeks.  Wow.  That is well over 2/3 of the way done.  I can’t believe how close we are, yet still so far away.

Garanimals for adults and Mom's big purse.

Tony here.

Mike was getting on me about what I was wearing the other day.    According to him I have some kind of internal "sequencing" device where I wear the same thing on particular days.    All the time.   See, I'm missing that gene that most of our "kind" gets.   I have no ability to dress myself.    When I was growing up I remembered a clothing line called "Garanimals".    You could match the tag for the shirt with the tag with the pants, and BINGO, you had an outfit.   Like having your own personal fairy godmother.    In High School art class my teachers asked, "How did you graduate first grade???".

Why don't they have Garanimals for Adults?    I have been "Relieved Of Command" regarding the dressing of our daughter.   Apparently she'll look too much like a hobo or a circus clown if I make the attempt.

Keep in mind I haven't required alot of flair for most of my life getting ready for work.   It's always been a uniform or protective equipment of some sort.     So maybe I need to sneak in some practice with the baby while Mike's not paying attention......

In the 1970's Mom's always had these enormous purses.    There was an animated cartoon in the mid 1950's called "Felix The Cat" (See "Felix The Cat : The Magic Bag" on YouTube).    He walked around with this bag that could change into an aircraft carrier or a solar panel.      In looking at all the bags that we'll be shlepping around, it reminds me of those purses Mom had.    She could pull out a kleenex, codeine cough syrup, a bag of popcorn, hide an entire dinner Ham, or help someone into the country.     My Dad was the same way.    I remember trying to pull my Dad's jacket off the back of the chair, and having it fall on me, and realizing I was trapped under alot of weight.   Every key, knives, tools, flashlights, you name it, it was in there.

I SWORE TO GOD I would never become those people.    But it's happening.    We're going to become THEM.

You'll see us walking down the street, me in a jacket weighing 40 pounds, dragging a bag weighing twice that much, and our baby in Mike's arms in a Gold Lame' pantsuit (my idea, and we'll be running too late to change her).

Mike irons EVERYTHING.    Unlike him, I pull it out of the dryer, or I do the... wait for it... sniff test.    If it doesn't smell like my armpit or worse, it's wearable.   Most guys function in this manner.    It's worked for like 10,000 years, so get off my back....

Princess Boot Camp.

Megan asked me if Tony and I could possibly help with getting Princess S to school while she is on vacation.  My answer was of course an emphatic yes!  I mean she is, after all, my most favorite 4 almost 5 year old.  This kid is pretty darn amazing and cute as a bug’s ear.   Where does that saying come from anyway?  Are bug’s ears that cute?  I mean the rest of them aren’t very cute.  I digress.  I was super excited and just a little nervous.  I have heard horror stories from parents about the battle to get children up and ready for school.  Megan herself has come in more than once with a harried look on her face, fruit loops stuck in her hair, and with war stories of battling to get S to school on time.  Okay Okay, I made up the fruit loop part. 

So I arrive to Megan’s house this morning and listen intently to the instructions her husband gives me.  I resist the urge to pull out a sheet of paper and pen, or to turn on the voice recorder on my phone just to be sure I get it all down.  When it is time to wake S up I am prepared for a cranky princess, some challenges, maybe even some confusion as to why I am there instead of her daddy.  But oh no!  S pops her head up gives me a huge smile and says “HI TONY!” (My name is Mike btw) and rushes over for a big hug.  Phew!  Other than the understandable name confusion we are off to a good start.  She then bounces into the bathroom and tells me that she is going to do her business and brush her hair.  I ask her if she would like a bowl of cereal.  “Yes please Tony!” (Again with the Tony!  Seriously? He's not THAT great).  I pour her cereal and she comes out with her hair brushed, dress and shoes on, and smiling.  She gives me a hearty "Thank you" and starts eating.  That’s when it hits me!  IT HAS ALL BEEN A LIE!  All of these years of parents rushing into work late, hair disheveled, and tales of fighting with children to get them up and ready for school were all Lies, Tales born out of some pitiful need for sympathy and attention!!  CONSPIRACY!  S finishes the majority of her cereal and asks very sweetly “Can I please be done?”  Sure I answer.  I am now very confident in my ability to get this sweet adorable little girl off to school.  Then it happens…

S asks me “May I watch my Barbie movie for awhile”.  We have time so I say yes, how hard can that be?  As it turns out VERY hard.  I could not figure out how to work the Barbie movie.  And that’s when everything changed.  I could feel her impatience and frustration growing as I frantically tried to figure it out.  And as I turned to let her know we will have to settle for Nickelodeon or something I can see the shift in her eyes.  She has lost all confidence in my ability to deliver quality care to her.  “You should call my dad”.  Call her Dad?  For the TV?  I foolishly decide not to bother him at work and say let’s just watch this.  She reluctantly agreea, but I can tell that she is not pleased.  She keeps looking at me out of the corner of her eye as if she wonders if I am capable of tying my own shoes, or if Tony has to do it for me.  As we are getting ready to leave she asks “You do know how to put my seat in right?”  Yep, all faith gone.  I assure her I do and we are off. 

We seem to have moved past the whole “Barbie incident” and are chit chatting about things like who would win in a fight if Jasmin, Ariel, and Cinderella all showed up at the same event in similar gowns, and whether or not Rupunzel’s hair is real or weave, you know kid stuff.  As we are driving I am WAY more aware of my driving, and the other drivers.  I usually don’t pay much attention to the little things like Speed limits or stop signs, but today I am acutely aware of the precious cargo I am carrying. 

As we arrive to her school, I gather up all of her stuff, back pack, lunch box, suitcase, laptop, cell phone, fax machine… I mean really how much stuff does one kid need for Kindergarten?  We walk up to the gate and it’s locked!  UM… when did they start locking up school yards?  HOLY CRAP! I think in my head, what do I do now?!?  I just stare at the lock for a minute, thinking it will magically pop open, and then I hear it, a slight little sigh come from the princess.  As I look over at her she says “I told you to park on the other street”.  Okay, I can handle this.  Well let’s just walk around the school, I say to her.  I swear she rolled her eyes.  “Walk?” she asks.  “But your car is right there!”  Did I mention that she's only 5??  Okay, so off we go.  We reload her back pack, lunch box, suitcase, cell phone, fax machine and get her buckled into her seat (by the way, we could have already walked around the building by this time) and off we go to re-park ½ block away.  FINALLY S, and all of her belongings, are safely dropped off at school.  It wasn’t THAT bad.  I have no idea what all these parents are complaining about.  Sheesh.