Monday, August 22, 2011

Thursday, August 18, 2011

24 weeks!!!

What I discovered during our first pass at the baby registry is that even though I am married to the BUTCHEST man on the planet, he’s sort of a wimp when it comes to shopping.  I DID forewarn him that he would need to eat, stretch, and hydrate before we went.  Is it my fault he didn’t listen when I told him this would be a marathon not a sprint? 


Megan is 24 weeks and 4 days pregnant today!  She continues to just blow me away with how well she is taking the changes in her body; I guess the fact that she looks so beautiful must help.  Even still, I don’t know how she does it with such a great attitude and such grace.  She truly is amazing.

Dear Zoey,

My beautiful daughter you are the light of my life.  It is a mere 16 weeks until you make your arrival into the world, and I am torn between sheer joy, like a kid before Christmas, and panic because I want everything to be ready and fitting your arrival.  We are working on getting your home finished for you.  Papa and I both want to create a safe place for you that always feels like love.  Your papa half jokingly asks me if I am going to let him hold you once and awhile when you are born.  I say half joking because the truth is I have carried you in my heart and dreamed of you in my head for so long that when I finally have you in my arms I might not be able to let you go.  My wish for you is that you are safe, healthy, and happy.  I cannot wait to meet you.

All my love,

24 weeks There is a princess in there!

I love the smell of baby registry in the morning....

Tony here...

Yeah, about the title, it’s an “Apocalypse Now” reference….

It’s kinda how I felt going into Babies R Us Wednesday night.    You’re all very familiar with how military Generals have to use electronic barcode scanners to obtain tanks, guns, tents, and warfare materials for Iraq and Afghanistan.  Actually, that’s not how it happens, but maybe we’d have less wars if they had to meticulously inventory what a newborn needs as they do that stuff.   When the girl at the Baby Registry counter set us up with the scanner and set us up to go out into the store, she had on one of those “overworked stewardess” fake smiles.  Like she’d been on a red-eye to Detroit and back overnight.   Maybe she was just coaxing me to run out of the store.   Or maybe that was just me.

Keep in mind I was raised by two redneck Mississippi parents.   My mother didn’t have a “Diaper Genie Mark III Cryogenic Stasis Unit” or a “Pamper’s Cuddler’s Diapers Fast-Autoloader”.    From what I could tell my mother had a couple of sheets, maybe 3 cotton diapers, dangerous baby pins, some rags, etc.   As far as I can tell, I didn’t have a portion of my butt rot off.   So when I’m looking out of the corner my eye at Mike after we’ve scanned the 500 count diapers box the 6th time, I was a bit befuddled.  Seriously. 

Wait… HOW many diapers are we going to need?!?

What do you MEAN we’re not done?!?

If I suggested at this point that our baby have anything less than what’s on our inventory list, they’d be dragging the bottom of the river for my body.    But I admit I’m more than a little anxious about these “high tech” devices for our child.    When it came to selecting Zoey’s play center (the bouncy thing she sits in), Mike walks up and is all excited about the most elaborate techno monstrosity.   There isn’t a square inch on this device that doesn’t light up, make noise, or spin.  Frankly, a 747 aircraft revving on the tarmac and throttling up for take-off could sneak by this device with less noise.  And EVERYTHING has a built-in MP3 player.  The diaper stacker DOES NOT need an MP3 player……

I honestly didn’t know there were 10 types of blankets for the baby.  Receiving blankets, Swaddling blankets, baby quilts, shower blankets, oiling blankets, everyday blankets, dress-up blankets, etc.  In one aisle I think we simply scanned everything.  I did not feel like I knew what was going on.

WOH WOH WOH… research… blah blah formula

Strangely, both Mike and I ignored the “Suggested” Babies R Us inventory.  One of the key items we missed was a baby monitor.   As I went to sleep last night I was chuckling to myself about our current lack of a baby monitor.  Would we ever open the package?  Since I am currently at a loss of when Mike will actually put the baby down, let go of her, or let someone take her out of his sight, I view this less as a “forgotten” item.   I jokingly wonder if it’ll EVER be used.  Maybe her first day of KINDERGARTEN.  LOL.  He’s not going to let go of Zoey till at least she’s 25 years old.

At the end of the day, I will move Heaven and Earth for this child.   And I’ve already accepted there is something we forgot, or sometime where I’ll have to make a late hour run for.  Maybe in the snow and ice.  And I’ll do it gladly.

Monday, August 15, 2011


I just wanted to take a minute to send out a HUGE CONGRATULATIONS to Roz and her IFs over at Surrogacy and my life!!  They have reached the 6 week mark and I absolutely cannot wait to read how this amazing journey will unfold, if you haven't yet read her blog you simply must check it out!  WOO HOO!!!

I am sending out tons of positive energy to all of them and of COURSE to the baby(ies)! 

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Family Dinners.... with PRINCESSES

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY PAPA BEAR!!!  Yesterday was Tony’s birthday and we had a great birthday dinner with our family, including Megan, her daughter, and husband.  Tony is way more comfortable making people feel special than being celebrated himself, but he deserved all the attention he got and more.  When he was opening his gifts he asked Megan's daughter to help him.  It was the cutest thing you have ever seen.  I know he was doing it partially because all little kids like to open presents, even other people's, and partially because he knew her cuteness would take the spotlight off of him.  I had this moment when I looked at everyone there to celebrate my husband and my heart was beyond full.  They love him so much; the truth is he is very easy to love. 

Tony about to have a panic attack from the attention

Tony using Megan's daughter as a an attention "shield"

One of the best parts about last night was my first baby, my niece Devyn, was there.  I call her my first baby because even though I always knew I wanted kids, it was her birth that sealed the deal.  I was 18 when she was born, younger than she is now.  The very first time I held her there was this instant connection and bond.  When her mother had to go back to work, I took care of her.  I loved every minute of it and I still think of her as my baby. 

Princess Devyn and I then…

Still my pretty pretty princess punkin head

When I was at my worst in my addiction the closest I could get to pulling it together was when she was around, not that I was able to do it very often, but for her I tried.  The circle of life is amazing, and one of the coolest things is that very soon I will get to see my first baby holding Zoey.  I hope that they are as close as Devyn and I were.  She’s a beautiful young lady and smarter than she even knows.  She isn’t completely aware yet of how amazing she is, but my hope for her is that she will soon.  Devyn is also fiery and stubborn, and sometimes she drives me crazy, but I do admire her strength and her convictions.  No one will ever run over her that is for sure.  I am so glad that Zoey will have her as an example to look up to. 

Monday, August 8, 2011

23 weeks

Dear Zoey,

You’re arrival is fast approaching, as evidenced by Mama Megan’s ever expanding (AND ADORABLE) belly.  It seems like everywhere I go lately there are fathers and daughters; maybe I am just clued into them because I know that is going to be us one day very soon.  I am torn because I simultaneously cannot wait for you to be here with us, and feel like I need more time to become the father you deserve.  I promise you that I am going to always do my very best to be worthy of being your daddy.

It also seems like every day I see something new I can’t wait to show you; a kitty, a balloon, how to skip rocks, or make mud pies.  We’re going to have so much fun you and I.  I love you so much and I am thinking of you all the time.  See ya soon Zoey.

23 weeks!



Tuesday, August 2, 2011

22 weeks... holy crap!

So we didn’t see Mama Megan for like 5 days… APPARENTLY Zoey quadrupled in size.  Megan is carrying the pregnancy extremely well and she looks AMAZING.  Seeing the bump grow so much in just a few short days was a shock… in an absolutely GREAT way.  Tony and I are so lucky to have someone so incredible to carry the most precious thing in our world. 

Zoey is also incredibly active and Megan says she is just swimming around all over the place.  I love that, it means she is happy and healthy.  I just hope in later months Megan is able to be as comfortable as possible. 

 22 weeks, ADORABLE!

What's funny is that when we had the ultrasound at 20 weeks another 20 weeks seemed like it would take forever.  Now that we are only 18 weeks out I feel like time is running out on us.  It just seems like we have SOOO much to do and not enough time to do it.  That's normal though right? 

In other news, I woke up from a disturbing dream last night.  Tony and I were in a Toddlers and Tiaras type battle with the dads from "Modern Family" and their daughter.  I woke up screaming.  That baby beauty pageant show works my last nerve!  And then I had another dream that when she was born Zoey was actually a BALLOON!  LOL, am I going crazy?

Monday, August 1, 2011

What an AMAZING weekend!

Tony and I took a long weekend to get a break from house preparations and baby research this weekend.  We went on our annual camping trip with the uber guncles.  I should forwarn you that my blackberry camera is not great, but we are including some pics.  A few months ago I posted that some of our gay friends didn’t exactly jump up and down when we told them of our parenting plans.  Isn’t it funny how we can focus on the people who don’t support us and forget to see the ones that do?  I had decided that during the trip I would not make Zoey the topic of every conversation, that I would not bore our friends and alienate them with talk of cloth versus disposable diapers, breast milk, water delivery, or baby clothes; as it turned out Zoey was the main topic of the trip anyway, mostly broached by her loyal subjects.  Our friends are as excited and thrilled with her arrival as we are, and cannot wait to dote on her and spoil her.  I love those guys. 


Uber Guncles Michael and Bill

Tony with Uber Guncle Marty

We camped in the Olympic National Forest and it was spectacular.  Before I metTony I was really more of the camping out at the Hilton type of guy.  He really has opened up my eyes to a whole new world, and I cannot wait for him to show Zoey the things he has shown me.

While we were there we did a little impromptu birthday celebration for Tony and our friend Michael.  It never ceases to amaze me what a gaggle of gays can do.  They turned the campsite into a full on swinging birthday party in like 20 minutes, while I got to sneak away with my husband for some alone time so he would be surprised.  After seeing what they did in the middle of the woods I am getting nervous about the “production” the baby shower will be (LOL). 

On our way back from camping Tony and I stopped at the Olympic Game Farm, It’s this amazing place where you can drive through and interact with the animals.  I think our favorite part was being able to feed the bears (shock).  My big, strong, butch husband squealed like a girl when a buffalo tried to stick it’s head in the truck though.  The entire ride back he obsessed about the buffalo slobber on the window, I think he was really distraught over the reminder of his recent trauma. 

  The goats that fortunately were not for sale

 This is not the buffalo, but Tony swear it was trying to eat him

I also realized that we may be in a bit of trouble.  I don’t think Tony will be able to say no very often to our little girl.  When I jokingly asked Tony for a goat, he stammered and started this dancing from one foot to the other thing he does when he wants to say no, but doesn’t want to disappoint me, and I realized that Zoey is going to WORK him over BIG time.  Just to test my theory I later asked for a wolf and a bear… while he did draw the line at the bear, I could have easily got him to agree to a wolf!  Man oh man… I may have to be the voice of reason when it comes to Zoey.  We’re screwed.

It was an amazing weekend, and I am so glad that we put away all of the preparation and allowed ourselves a moment to breathe and refocus and get back to getting everything ready.  And next year Zoey will be with us on this trip… wow.  After waiting so long for her, I can hardly believe she’s almost here.  I am truly grateful for my life.