Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Tick tock...tick tock UGH!

So here we are 8 day post insemination and I am going frickin nuts!  I know the reality of the situation is that it may not have worked.  In fact on average it takes 3 attempts.  But still.  I am ready to be a father. This is not just about having a cut little baby to cuddle and play with, but about this drive in me to participate in shaping the future.  I want to be a part of building society into whatever t is supposed to be.  This need in me to teach guide,worry about, nurture and love a new person as they grow into an adult.  Whatever adult they are meant to be.  Tony and Megan are sure that we’re pregnant.  I want to be sure, but I’m not.  Only time will tell, I just wish time didn’t take so much time!!!  Maybe I should be enjoying these last few days of NOT knowing.  I mean once the two lines show up this all changes into something new.  If I think this is rough, imagine what I am going to be like for the next nine months!  When I know for sure that our little baby is coming I have a feeling that is when the real waiting and worrying occurs.  I should be more patient.  I mean after all I have waited this long... but I have never been very good at waiting. It’s just that the last several years I have tried to figure out what I was going to do.  And for the first time I have never felt more sure abut anything in my life.  I am surrounded by love.  I have amazing friends, an unstoppable family, and a man that loves me fiercely for who I am, maybe even despite who I am.  This is the next big thing.  I really feel that I have been preparing for this role for a long time.  I feel.... ready.  Ready to step pass on the love that my mother showed me, to teach someone how to be a person of good character like my mother showed me. Now if mother nature would just fall in line!

3 comments:

  1. I know the waiting is VERY hard-but just think of it as a test. Parenting requires ALOT of patience and this is just your first job as a parent! It is kind of like waiting to open your Christmas presents when you are little. It will be SO worth it when the time comes!!!

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  2. Patience, patience, patience... Soon you'll be changing diapers and juggling formula and cooing with the rest of us. It'll happen sooner than you realize. :)

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