Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tick tock...tick tock UGH!
So here we are 8 day post insemination and I am going frickin nuts! I know the reality of the situation is that it may not have worked. In fact on average it takes 3 attempts. But still. I am ready to be a father. This is not just about having a cut little baby to cuddle and play with, but about this drive in me to participate in shaping the future. I want to be a part of building society into whatever t is supposed to be. This need in me to teach guide,worry about, nurture and love a new person as they grow into an adult. Whatever adult they are meant to be. Tony and Megan are sure that we’re pregnant. I want to be sure, but I’m not. Only time will tell, I just wish time didn’t take so much time!!! Maybe I should be enjoying these last few days of NOT knowing. I mean once the two lines show up this all changes into something new. If I think this is rough, imagine what I am going to be like for the next nine months! When I know for sure that our little baby is coming I have a feeling that is when the real waiting and worrying occurs. I should be more patient. I mean after all I have waited this long... but I have never been very good at waiting. It’s just that the last several years I have tried to figure out what I was going to do. And for the first time I have never felt more sure abut anything in my life. I am surrounded by love. I have amazing friends, an unstoppable family, and a man that loves me fiercely for who I am, maybe even despite who I am. This is the next big thing. I really feel that I have been preparing for this role for a long time. I feel.... ready. Ready to step pass on the love that my mother showed me, to teach someone how to be a person of good character like my mother showed me. Now if mother nature would just fall in line!