Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Giiiiiirl shooot.

I had a complete and total melt down a few weeks ago.  I mean a full on sobbing, crying, runny nose, can’t breathe fit.  Poor Tony looked at me like I had spontaneously given birth to a hippo right in front of him.  This of course made me cry harder.  I hate days when I am forced to confront the idea that PERHAPS I am not as butch as I think I am.

Everything around this pregnancy and the baby is wonderful.  I am thrilled and completely over the moon with the process and with the idea that soon we will be parents.  What I haven’t yet mentioned is that we are in the middle of a tear out on our house.  The house is amazing, but we have a lot of work to do to get it ready.  And as it turns out work is…well work.  Truthfully I have no doubt that it will be done, because Tony has assured me it will.  Tony is ACTUALLY butch and I trust him implicitly. 

On this day though I was just completely overwhelmed with all of the good and bad stress of having a baby and getting a house ready EXPLODED.  This is how I ended up a crying heap of emotional drama while Tony handed me tissues and tried to make it all better.  I am normally always emotionally even keeled and even tempered.  The salt of the earth, the rock of Gilbral… ok I respect all of you too much to lie.  The truth is I am a tad bit…. expressive about whatever emotion I am feeling.  I am a social worker after all, and as a people we tend to process, and discuss, and re-process everything to death.  If you don’t believe me you should pop in for one of our interminably long staff meetings where we spend HOURS discussing where is the best place to put a soda machine so as to not offend anyone and to be inclusive of all the staff.  Seriously. 

So there I am a hysterical sobbing mess in a pool of tears and snot and I realized.  HOLY SHIT we have a baby coming!  Oddly enough I feel much much better now.  LOL.  I guess I needed to have that break down. 

I cannot be the only drama queen out there right? 

4 comments:

  1. Your post reminded me of the song it's my party and I will cry if I want to. :) It's okay to cry. It's not good to hold all that in.

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  2. I love this post. It means you're going to be the best dad you can, and love this baby with all your heart. It means you'll do everything in your power to give this baby everything she or he wants and needs. Remember this feeling; you'll love this child. Even when she shampoos the cat with yogurt on your antique sofa.

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  3. LOL! I just shot coffee out my nose at the image of your little doll baby doing that!

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