Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The real deal




The past 5 weeks have been the most amazing time of my entire life. Actually this whole past year has been amazing. The reality of being a parent far exceeds anything I ever fantasized about. Zoey brightens my world on a daily basis and I still look at her every day and think“HOLY CRAP! We have a daughter, and she’s beautiful!” Having said that there are some things I wish I had paid better attention to before she was born. I know that some of you are waiting for your perfect little baby (ies), and if you’re like me you can’t imagine it being anything other than perfect. It is perfect… and harder than I thought. So I wanted to share the things I wish I had paid more attention to.
Soak up the one on one time with your partner now. I thought because Tony and I wanted this baby so badly, that we would be content with doing things together with the baby. We are, but we also sort of miss each other. I mean miss snuggling for hours, holding hands on the couch while watching TV, or just being close when one or both of us aren’t smelling like spit up, poop, or breast milk.
There will be no time to do anything. I have learned to break up chores into 5 minute increments. I have just enough time to fold three outfits, wash 2 dishes, or dust one table in between times when the baby wants me. I LAUGH at myself now because I thought, “I am a very organized person, I will NEVER have unfolded laundry, or dishes in the sink, etc. I will just time manage better”… Sigh... oh the naiveté.
You’re going to change. He/she is going to change. Your relationship is going to change. That is not meant to scare anyone, but it’s true. I have changed, my priorities have changed, and my thought process has changed. Tony’s have too. It’s all for the good, but sometimes it’s hard to catch up with all the changing emotions, thoughts, and circumstances.
And last… the thing I wasn’t able to conceive of at all, but thought I knew. You’re life is going to be so much better. DIFFERENT for sure, and that will take adjustment. There are mornings where all Zoey wants to do is make eye contact. We just sit and stare at each other, she coos and I gush at how pretty she is. Inevitably I end up in tears.
Get ready for the best most amazing time of your life. Smooches!

12 comments:

  1. I'm new to your blog, so excuse me if this was covered in a previous post. You are giving her breastmilk, that is so cool! How are you working that?
    She is VERY beautiful!

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  2. Zoey is more beautiful every day! I love your candid openness about everything. Once you are all in a nice family rhythm, make it a priority to have a date night at least a couple times a month. Even if only for long enough for dinner or coffee. It really helps recharge your relationship batteries.

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  3. I love this post. It's impossible to describe things until you've experienced them! You're so right...EVERYTHING changes...things are so hard...yet you wouldn't have it any other way. That's how amazing it is.

    XO

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  4. Thanks you guys! I don't quite know what blogger did with the font and lay out... LOL. Loralou WELCOME!!!! Our amazing surrogate pumps for us, so Zoey gets breast milk. We are super uper grateful!

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  5. Awww Zoey is so adorable with her hand on her face...! What a wonderful post and we'll take your advice...in fact, we just did, and cuddled on the sofa before we made dinner! Thanks for the reminder to pay more attention. Take care you guys...

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    1. I am so glad you guys are soaking each other up!

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  6. It does get easier. After about six months, when she starts to do more than just be held, you'll have a little more time. Just remember, you have the opportunity to be involved in every aspect of her, because you and your husband are going to be the only people who knew her from the moment she was born until you die. And until she is 18 or so, you will be the only ones who share all aspects of her life on a daily basis. It is the best, more wonderful, hardest thing you will ever do. And it will be so worth it. Kiss Zoey and then each other.

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    1. Thank you so much! I really appreciate this Cricket!

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  7. I so needed to read this post and it is amazing! I am almost in tears reading it and so happy for you guys. I can not wait to swap baby stories with you.

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    1. I am so excited for you! I know you must just be going NUTS!

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  8. Thank you for being so open in your posts! And Zoey is so beautiful! I'm glad I found this blog :-)

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    1. Thank you very much! We tend to think so. LOL

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