Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Our Papa Bear...

There’s this magic thing that happens when you fall in love.  It’s like the whole world stops for just a moment, just for the two of you.  When I met Tony it was like everything started to fall into place.  True, he was a super hot and an uber butch FIREFIGHTER, but even deeper than that the first time we made eye contact I knew I was in trouble.  I knew my fierce independence and serial “dating” days were long behind me… and for the first time ever that did not scare me. 
The early days.

Being in love with him, developing our relationship, and growing our family hasn’t always been easy. There are days when I have wanted to strangle him (of course from his perspective I am sure I have only ever been kind and loving).  However, it has always been worth itI never knew it was possible to love someone like I love him.  And now we get to raise this perfect, beautiful, amazing little girl together.  She will be smart, funny, and her heart will be capable of so much empathy and compassion because of her amazing father.

Love at first sight

Tony is this big giant beefy guy.  He doesn’t understand how is jeans are supposed to fit, why his shoes need to match his shirt, or why the clothes that he LOVED in the 90s are not appropriate for anything other than costume wear today.  He likes football and military history documentaries… he is the epitome of “butch”… and Zoey and I own his heart.

Tony always positions himself between me and strangers on the street.  Now that Zoey is here he is like our very own Body Guard (Think Kevin Costner) or Secret Service Agent.  On our first walk with Zoey in the stroller, a squirrel made the mistake of coming within 30 feet of us, Tony showed him who was boss by chasing away the “danger”.  “Just in case the rat got the wrong idea”.  Later when we got home he pulled out a giant hammer from his inside coat pocket!!  Because some dog might have attacked us!  I know it seems over protective, and maybe it is.  The truth is Tony will mellow out, BUT he will always protect his baby with everything he has.

I feel like I am falling in love with him all over again.  I watch this GIANT man so completely enraptured with this tiny little girl, and my heart is full.  I watch his huge paws ever so gently undresss her for bath, change her diaper, or pat her back as he burps her.  I can only barely hear the murmuring of his voice as he smiles and shares secrets with his daughter, but I can tell that whatever he is saying is utterly fascinating to her.  When he sings lullabies to her she snuggles in and just looks at him as if her is made of chocolate.

And then there are the moments where she is in his arms and we make eye contact over her head and smile, knowing that we made this family.  I know that he loves her as much as I do, that he will protect her with his very life.  There is a new kind of magic in that.  I love him even more than I did before, and if you had told me that would be the case before Zoey was born, I would have told you it was impossible to love him more then I did then… and I was so wrong.

Pure magic


  1. Very sweet and kind words for a wonderful man. What a beautiful family the three of you make.
    Best regards,

  2. You made me cry... I love getting to "know" you on here... I think that if we lived close, we would for sure be besties! You do have a beautiful Husband and a perfect little girl!

  3. So sweet, what a beautiful family you have. I love how protective Tony is of you both, its the sweetest thing ever. Ash is the same way and I love it except if a spider or bug is involved, we're on our own in that case as she is usually a block away screaming like a big ol mimi!

  4. I'm wiping my tears and remembering yet again why you deserve this award.

    I've presented you with the Liebster Blog Award! Check out what that means on this post:



  5. Oh boy, can I just copy and paste this post about Bill when our little girl comes in May? People have told me that this will happen, and I'm so glad it's happening for you guys. I can't wait to see Bill hold his daughter for the first time, like Tony is holding Zoey in these photos. It will be pure magic. Thanks for posting this and sharing your love for each other. It meant a lot to read.

    Zoey is a cutie-pie!

  6. Wow! What a great post. I feel that way every time I watch my 12 year old son and his other mom. I love her for how she is with him. I love that he is never scared, or hit, or intimidated, always protected, always encouraged, always loved. I love that someone who was so broken by her own family has been able to love our son unconditionally.

  7. You gotta stop making me cry! Seriously...I cry at almost all of your blog entries.

  8. Such a beautiful story, thank you for letting all of us read it! I shared it with my wife...beautiful (as is your daughter!)