Monday, April 11, 2011

And now the emotional fall out....

So I saw our little blob today.  I mean there isn’t really much to see just yet, but somehow just seeing that something is in there changed me.  I am sort of getting used to that; the huge changes happening inside me every day.  It started when Megan first said that she was pregnant.  I was overwhelmed at the intensity of the emotions that followed.  I expected them, but no one prepared me for how strong they would be.  This amazing love and concern I feel for this blob of cells that isn’t much bigger than the period at the end of this sentence frightened me at first.  I have to admit for the last few weeks I was walking around in a complete daze.  I was simultaneously thrilled beyond belief, terrified to my core, and worried to death.  Throw in the fertility nurses saying multiples were possible, and I was a HOT MESS!  I think it was sort of like emotional growing pains.  This morning when I woke up just had this feeling that everything would be fine.  No matter how many babies were in there, or anything else that could come our way, we would be just fine because we have each other.   However, yet again I was not prepared for the intensity of seeing that little blob.  Our baby.  Our beautiful little blob of a baby.   I thought that I would burst into tears when I saw it, but instead just a few tears came as I stared in awe at the circle.  Once the Dr. said everything looked perfect I was relieved, but I still just stared.   We all left the clinic ecstatic and jovial.  It wasn’t until just a few minutes ago, when I was all alone that the entire truth washed over me.  Now the tears I have been expecting are streaming down my face as I stare at the picture of our baby/blob.  This is really happening!  There is really a baby in there and he/she is okay.  We created life and that is just the beginning.  Thank you God.  Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you! 


  1. What a great post. You are going to be an amazing dad.

  2. The feeling never goes away. And it's happy for you guys!

  3. Thank you guys! And Jeff and Kevin I sure do hope so! And Bobby, I am SO HAPPY for YOU guys! A NEW BABY!!!