Saturday, February 18, 2012

How in the name of JANET JACKSON....

It happened.  I knew it was coming.  I could feel it in my bones for the past few days… a knowing… a dread.  And sure enough as I was washing dishes I heard it.  Zoey had been playing in her little princess swing so I turned to look and sure enough Zoey had the tell tale signs of a baby pooping.  Still nothing seemed a miss.  I figured I would give her a minute and then I would handle it.  Then the smell hit my nostrils and I whipped around realizing something was… different.  I picked Zoey up and thought “why is her back wet”…. You guessed it, my hand was covered in poop.
I rushed over to the DECON/CHANGING station and tried to assess the situation.  I could immediately tell as I unzipped her little Pjs that the diaper had not lived up to the hype of their commercials.  You know the one.  Cute little babies having a blow out contest?  I plan on suing.  It was everywhere. It was running down her leg, it was somehow on her stomach, everywhere.  I instinctually turned to yell for my mommy (as I always do when something gross occurs) and it hit me.  I’m the mommy!!!  I have to handle the yuck now!!   

Now Zoey is a kicker when she is being changed.  So I knew that this was going to be messy.  I decided to sacrifice the Pjs and onesie to the gods of poop and just cut it off.  This trick seemed to confuse Zoey and she thankfully kept her legs still while I removed her diaper… and then SPLAT!  She had the element of surprise on me.  I mean there was so MUCH poop, How could there be MORE?  Oh but there was more.  And I ended up cutting my own shirt off of me. 



The moral of this story… there is always more.



Oh and if you happen to be eating while reading this, you’re welcome!

16 comments:

  1. Lol! I have two kids, and my youngest (who is almost six months old) is notorious for doing this. Trust me, by the time she is ready to potty train you will be a pro at changing blow outs :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha ha ha, you made me laugh- i remember those days and laughed out loud when you said you sacrificed them to the god of poop especially! The worse one we had was poo everywhere, up back, right up to her hair line, down legs and I was in a shopping centre(mall). I had to buy new sock,vest etc and popped her into a sink to clean her! It sounded like you thought on your feet there and you will be a pro next time it happens! xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love this! Why did I never think to cut the clothes of Emma? That is brilliant, I will have to keep it in mind for number 2.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tears are streaming down my face I am laughing so hard. I can totally picture you, scissors in hand, cutting off everything that could be cut off. Lol.

    Way to go Dad! You handled a major blowout. You are now officially a member of the club. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Gotta love that feeling when you FEEL the warm blowout poo before you see it. My oldest literally did this several times per week for her first year of life. No brand of diaper could contain her masterpieces. I brought home more rinsed out - poo tinged clothing in grocery bags than I could have cared to count. Good times!

    ReplyDelete
  6. LMAO!!! I am sure she felt better after that and was smiling at you the entire time!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She really was! I was laughing too so I think she thinks it's a game now. LOL

      Delete
  7. Oh Wow!! Thanks for the giggles. It was your first blow out but probably won't be your last.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Looool, projectile pooping. *yikes* Just had one yesterday. The stuff was ON the diaper...have no clue how it went from the inside to the outside.

    What we do here: We undress him (we have a boy) - wiping all the poop all over his body and hair whilst doing this - and put him in the shower. The clothes will go into the wasching machine instantly. It's yucky but this way you don't have to cut through the clothes. Man, we wouldn't have one single item if we cut them off him every time he poops not quite INTO the diapers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good looking out! I appreciate the advice, sounds like a MUCH better way to go. : )

      Delete
    2. You're welcome :D Just had to come back and re-read the story. Just too good!

      Delete
  9. OMG-that's awesome. You just earned the blow-out badge, my friend. Congrats :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ahhh, welcome to parenthood!!!!

    ReplyDelete